You've Got to Start Somewhere...

I'll consider this my official '1st' blog. It's as good a time as any to begin as I've decided that I'd use this as a more constructive way to 'blow off' a little steam. If you don't like sarcasm, if you don't like complaining and if you're looking for something a bit more uplifting - then stop now! This isn't the blog for you. However - if you're willing to take this for what it's worth - one woman's seemingly harmless way to re-direct some of her pent-up energies and frustrations into the written word - then please, feel free to continue - just don't make any snide comments or criticisms.

So - my rant for today - or rather yesterday is about airlines. Oooh No! Not another airline basher. Sorry - I've been traveling a bit more lately, so much of my angst & anxiety can be directly attributable to certain carriers, without mentioning names (airline formerly known as NWA). It's bad enough to travel after work hours, be delayed and know that you're getting home somewhere north of 9pm. However - in these situations, I typically just like to get on the plane, take out my crossword puzzle, attempt to know what 3-down is and then fall asleep. Unfortunately - that was not the case last night. Nope - last night - I was kept from snoozing or awoken if I did perchance catch some shut-eye by an ample-bottomed 'flight attendant'. Okay - get the "Oh no she didn'ts" and "She's not going there's" out of your system. I'm going there, but not without first recognizing that "YES", I too am an ample-bottomed woman - I don't like it, I like to talk about losing it, but truth be told, I sometimes think I'm being followed when I catch my reflection in a mirror or window. However - I don't choose to make a living by walking up and down 24" aisles all day, hitting people with my large posterior. If I had a frequent flyer mile for every time I was hit by this "flight attendant's" bottom - I'd be Gold Medallion. No joke. It was bad enough being on a sold-out regional flight at 7:30pm with a huge man sitting next to me, thus forcing me into the aisle. But, really, salt into wound when I was then accosted by this woman's derriere every time she walked by, which was no less than 27 times. I graciously tried to suck in, or move forward (in my 'generous' exit aisle row) or lean into said-seat mate, but there were times when she'd come up from behind me - taking me completely off guard and whack me with that 'thang!!! Again - I'm not being rude, I don't mean to be uncaring or disrespectful - I just think that there are some jobs that we shouldn't do if there are physical limitations that keep us from doing the required tasks of the job - in this instance, like being able to successfully clear the aisle without taking any of the passengers out.

I thought at one time there was a height and weight requirement for stewards/stewardesses. While that might seem archaic and discriminating - I'm actually okay with it. Just because you want to do something - doesn't mean that you should be able to do so if you're not qualified. Point in case - I wouldn't want my pilot to be allowed to fly the plane just b/c he really wanted the job. I would want him or her to not only have all of the necessary schooling, training and experience to fly my plane - but I'd want him/her to be able to physically handle the job, like fitting into the cock-pit and being able to maneuver in his/her seat. That seems reasonable. Well - it goes for flight attendants as well. I think you should not only know how to open an emergency door (although, they've now outsourced that to the poor suckers sitting in the exit row who just want more leg room), open up that slide and pour a can of pop - but I think you should also be able to fit down the aisle or better yet, share the aisle if in an emergency someone needed to squeeze by you. While I'm not saying that this woman wasn't physically capable of helping me in an emergency - I just wouldn't put my life on it. And seriously - even if we never got into an emergency - don't I, as a paying passenger, have a right NOT to be hit by the help?? If I were in a restaurant, whether it be 5-star or Denny's - would you sit at your table and not say anything if every time your server walked, you were smacked by their bottom? Or bumped by their belly? Would you asked to be moved? Would you go back? Would you avoid that person's station??? I'm just saying - there are just some jobs that we should and shouldn't have. If you can't physically complete the job requirements or if in attempting to do the job requirements you upset the paying customers who make your job possible - should you have that job????

So I guess that's it. Not sure if I have a point or if I even need to make one. I think I really just wanted to get that off my chest, err bottom! I'm taking me and my ample bottom off to work (fortunately I sit all day, so the only one or thing being bothered by my bottom is my poor chair).

Until next time...